i have seen titanic so many times, yet everytime i watch it i still get just as sad as the first time :(

everything is approved and I am so excited.
so soon

the last 2 steps are scheduled.
then it will be time.
I am more nervous than ever
but more ready than ever
permanence it terrifying
but some permanent things bring the greatest change.

so i am pretty sure last night,and today was the best time ever.
Me, Bex, Nate, Josh and shawn drove to UF and surprised andrea!!!
me Bex and Dre stayed up all night and talked it was amazing!
I love last min late night trips, and getting to see dre.
great night.
so tired :)

I wish I could write lyrics, cause what goods a piano piece without words.

I want to go somewhere, like a road trip
just drive
and clear my mind.
that would be so nice.

Movie night last night was so fun!
I still wish we had gotten Zombie Strippers!!!!!!!!
Bex:we ARE renting that movie and watching it.

After movie night, not so fun, I am done.


ugh cant wait for talk night with bex tonight. :)

p.s
(please don't go back to Chicago.)

tonight was informaional.
a little weird but it was good.
Made me a little nervous but I am very excited at the same time.

sometimes the people you love can say things that hurt so much. Even if they don't realize it.
Tonight brought me back to a place of my life I left the moment I moved away from CT. They don't even think about it but it hurts more than they will ever know. Thank god Bex can bring me back to the good things.

I am excited for wed
I am excited for life
I am excited so that when shit like this happens
I am no longer fazed by it.


I have so much on my mind, I don't want to deal with any of it anymore.

I love you Bex.

I have seriously had one of the best vacations ever. It has been so effortless and amazing.
ugh I dont want it to end.

today was amazing, brunch at ericas movie night at anthonies

today was a day of funny quotes also lol


annie;
"I treat my kids like I treat chopsticks once it gets complicated I give up"

dave
"Wanted is a biography of my life"

(conversation with terrance when i called him at one thirty in the morning to say happy birthday)
me: " thursday i am taking you out for a "things only 18 year olds can do" day. Have you ever been to cheetah?"
terrance:"no."
me: "want to?"

(few min later in a text)
terrance: " cant you and bex just strip for me?"
me: "yes, yes we can"


I love you all so much.

i'm going to be very vague
I LOVE BEX SOOOO MUCH!!!

The tears are so hard to keep in
I want this so badly
next week is the first step.
I am so excited
but it also scares me so much.
I am ready.


edit: Your an idiot I need you so much right now and your so into yourself right now and being with the boys that you cant even see that. Saramaile is right not being angry at you to your face isnt gonna do me any good.

didn't drink at all it was ok though
made sure no one died, and had fun with bex!
tonight was a great night.
and the day that lead up to the party was also amazing
hanging with terrance and mona
going to kelly's 1940's party
it was relaxing.
happy new year everyone.
love u all.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
One more fucking thing to make me feel like shit.
I cant believe my fucking bracelet fell off.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
I havent taken it off since my mom gave it to me. and now its fucking gone.
One more piece of my dad is now gone. And it had to be the one piece I keep with me at all times.
I am so over everything I just done care anymore.
Something always has to go wrong.

drank to much vodka
smoked to much hookah
threw up 8 times
became friends with some sweet people
took so many picts
love kylie SOOO much
feel like shit today
completely worth it
i lost count of how many screw drivers i had after 8.
oh jeeze, not drinking for a while hahahahaha.
best night.
totally worth the sickness, dan and ashley take care of me!
bring on the parties.

christmas was nice, quiet but nice.
it ended perfectly sitting around jamies new hookah(the haitian)
with smt dave ash and jordan.
it was nice and peaceful, perfect end to a nice day.

now that I have agreed to this I want to do it now.
I guess you could say I want to get it over with.
I don't want to wait anymore and waiting just gives me more
time to talk myself out of it.
I just think afraid of going through this alone, but yet I cant pull
myself together enough to tell anyone.
Well once its done your all gonna know anyway.
February your so far.

it honestly kills me how much I am in love with the Twilight series.
i don't want it to end. :( one book to go.

haven't slept in like 348509285 years got a cold.
brought that shit upon myself.

going to bed.

Andrea: just thought u should know that I think the gash on my face is kick ass! i look like i could beat a bitch up lol :)